Today is the day I could so start again!

[Indigo Warrior]

Forty-eight days a non-smoker - some good, some bad but today, interestingly, is a day when it hasn't been bad. In fact, following a work observation earlier this week, it was a good day as a colleague complimented my performance. However, after work I met up with an old friend (a former smoking partner who I haven't seen in a few months) to walk our dogs and discovered that after eleven months they had succumbed to the wicked weed.

At the time, I was feeling self-congratulatory and gave the spiel to remind them how good they had been feeling and even forwarded them a couple website etc.

All good, you may be thinking...no! Whilst I didn't object to them smoking in my presence and in fact wasn't bothered, the evil voice however has been working on my self conscience.

Consequently, some five hours after that I find myself clearing the kitchen and come across my old baccy tin and it still has some papers and some crumbs of baccy.  Not enough to actually roll one but the temptation is almost over whelming. I bagged the papers and dropped them to a smoking neighbour and set fire to what was left of the baccy. 

I would like to say I stood well back and didn't inhale but, as a test, I didn't! It proved a point despite this length of time I could quite easily revert back to being a smoker.

Will I? I hope not which is why I am increasing my mantras NOPE and Dory, "Just keep quitting, Just keep quitting."

There is a fine line between ignoring it and suddenly giving in. Grateful that, just for today, I have not bought any and reverted to old habits as I would have done given a similar situation previously.

[tea]

Sometimes it really does take mettle not to give in to the voices and well done for staying strong. I think sometimes when you've been quit for a time the voices try to convince you that just one wouldn't hurt, occasionally, at times it would be nice...but it's all lies.

[TG]

Well i think you are amazing @Indigo Warrior you held firm. Just take it a day at a time again until you feel comfortable in your quit again. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you 

[Kat73]

Bless you, definitely one of those there-but-for-the-grace moments!

Firstly and most importantly, well done for staying strong and having the sense to remove the means of caving - that really shows that you are committed to making this your forever quit and THAT is what will carry you all the way to freedom!  I know it can be pretty terrifying to come so close but take heart from the fact that you didn't use the situation to justify a return to slavery to smoking.  You WON today, so be proud of yourself.

It really does demonstrate why so many of us here say again and again how important it is to keep your guard up and be ready for the next ambush the stinky little oik has in store.  Listen to your inner Dory, keep your eyes on the prize and keep on trucking, here's hoping the next few days will see you settling into your stride again 

[Skiddaw]

Wise words from our @Kat73 , @tea and @TG , @Indigo Warrior 

Thanks for posting because it's so true. You tend to imagine that once you've been quit for a few months those sudden curved-ball craves will cease but it's surprising how sneaky the Demon Nic can be. When I had been quit for 6 months I went to a wedding and had an almost overwhelming urge to succumb after the service when several of the people I was with shot out the back to light up. I had to go lock myself in the nearest bog until the urge passed. Even now, nearly two years in, I have the odd moment but these days it really is the odd moment and very fleeting (thankfully  ).

Well done, dear @Indigo Warrior , for resisting (and with such panache- I love the bit when you set fire to the remaining tobacco  ). I'll bet that you'll feel SO proud of yourself in a wee while.

[Indigo Warrior]

Thanks for all your support and I like that Dory has now become my inner Dory and I will be listening to her more carefully when that next occasion crops up because it will.