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Author Topic: Help  (Read 237 times)

jacq

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Help
« on: October 09, 2018, 04:35:34 pm »
Hi guys i came on this forum last year and did so well. then i started and stopped 20 times or more and here i am again desperatly wanting to quit but feelign like i just cant do it. I really need help. I am overwhelmed with this addiction. can anyone help me here? i just cant do it on my own.
 

Skiddaw

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Re: Help
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2018, 05:20:38 pm »
I'm really glad you're back with us @jacq  :hug: :hug: :hug:

Don't panic. There's not one of us hasn't been where you are. I had many false starts (most only lasting a day or two) but I got there in the end and so will you. Look at @markmcclean1980 - he's just made it to the Penthouse after many attempts and is a prime example that it can be done.

What I suggest is that you try to step back, take a series of deep breaths, relax, and make a comprehensive list of why you want to quit (so you can refer to it whenever you hit one of those wobbly moments). Then decide when you're going to take the plunge again and how you're going to do it (personally, I couldn't have done it without NRT and a lovely quit-smoking NHS nurse). Don't think about the long term. The key to this is to take it minute by minute and hour by hour. The days, weeks and months will soon take care of themselves.

You CAN do this dear @jacq I promise- and we're here, whenever you need us. There's always someone around to help and I'll bet you that this time in a year or just over you'll be romping through that Penthouse door.
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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KitKat

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Re: Help
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2018, 05:31:46 pm »
Hi @jacq

First things first----Yes you can do it, you just need to prepare and prepare well.

Decide when and what method you will use to help you.

Don't start your quit in a panic, it has to be in your time and your way.

I am probably not the best on the forum to offer words of wisdom as it took me years to quit, but others on here will be along to help in a more practical way, but you have taken the first step and that is the beginning.

KK ;)
Manners maketh man, not the way he spells it
 
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tea

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Re: Help
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2018, 06:21:57 pm »
Why do you want to quit? What are your top 5 reasons?

12.9.2014  (I forget sometimes)
 
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Skiddaw

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Re: Help
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2018, 06:24:57 pm »
Fact is, @KitKat , that few people could be in a better place to offer words of wisdom. You may have taken years to quit but you DID quit (and in style  :)). There you go @jacq - you're so not alone. We're all on the same road and how we reach the final destination (what our @Max414 aptly calls the 'sunlit uplands) or how long it takes is immaterial.
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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jacq

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Re: Help
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2018, 06:34:01 pm »
Oh you guys!!! I’ve misse you all! I want to start tomorrrow. I will wrote my reasons and be here every day for support I am sure with you all there that will be my first reason to stop... arghhh!!!
 
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Skiddaw

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Re: Help
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2018, 06:55:15 pm »
Good on you @jacq;D 007 007

We'll be there to catch you if you take a tumble but if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other it won't be long before the rocky, stony path becomes as smooth as silk.  :hug: :hug: :hug:
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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Lostie

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Re: Help
« Reply #7 on: October 09, 2018, 06:58:40 pm »
Even if you don't quit tomorrow, you can still be on here talking to us. As it has already been said KitKat finally quit and Mark has just reached the Penthouse. I remember Mark quitting with me back in 2012. Doesn't matter how long it takes to quit the fact that you want too is a big boost and you will make it.
 
Maybe this might give you a bit more encouragement.  I was at my GP's today discussing whether or not it was time for me to have oxygen supplement!  I have another appointment in November with the lung specialist. Believe me I am not at all happy about that thought and trying to fight it every bit of the way, but I know things will only get worse for me.  I WISH I HAD NEVER STARTED SMOKING.  Too late now, but I did quit and that helped me a lot. I quit with Champix and quitting was the best thing I could do .......and I've got money now ;D
 
Just one small step and one day at a time and you know we are all here for you.  :hug:
 
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jacq

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Re: Help
« Reply #8 on: October 09, 2018, 07:18:59 pm »
@Lostie that’s massive. I am in awe of you for your good thinking and I am sure you will do whatever you need to push through. What an amazing person you are...thank you for your advice and I am sure we will all support you too x
 

tea

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Re: Help
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2018, 07:48:35 pm »
Don't give up on giving up. If it's what you want, we'll support you. It's not a time limited membership, it's for whenever you need us.
12.9.2014  (I forget sometimes)
 
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LAST CHANCE SALOON

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Re: Help
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2018, 01:07:05 am »
Well done for trying again @jacq , at least you still want to give up, you gave it a good go last November and are starting again. We helped you last time and will keep trying until you stop. Read Marks struggle to the penthouse over many years. Yer the dreaded weed can be overpowering, if I get a whiff of smoke out of the blue it still sends a shudder through me but ive learnt to over come it. Like @Skiddaw I took all the patches and pills I could get off the NHS, I could not have quit without them. My last reply to you said I had saved £250 pounds, its now £5200 pounds. You know what its like to stop smoking so lets get back to it, you will get there.007
Quit 16th November 2017.
Last smoke 21st November 2017.
Trigger word...LEG.
 
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tea

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Re: Help
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2018, 09:30:15 am »
Cor blimey @LAST CHANCE SALOON £5000+!!

Can I hold it? :)
12.9.2014  (I forget sometimes)
 
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LAST CHANCE SALOON

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Re: Help
« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2018, 10:39:06 am »
Glad you didn't ask KK that question @tea but I knew as I was starting the quit how much I was spending and it shocked me. My official answer to how many do you smoke a day was 10 to 15, but it was more like 30 to 40 a day and getting worse. There was no one more addicted than me and I can see where @jacq  is coming from and I also knew I could not cut down only stop completely. Yer the bank of LCS has never been fuller . I would like to see what 10500 fags look like that I haven't smoked. If it wasn't for my painful leg I'm sure I would be still smoking and like many on here I wish I had never smoked, what a waste. Iv'e spent £2000 up to now but your welcome to the other £3000 tea.008
Quit 16th November 2017.
Last smoke 21st November 2017.
Trigger word...LEG.
 
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Phil Coulson

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Re: Help
« Reply #13 on: October 10, 2018, 11:30:23 am »
I was a hopeless addict for many many years, I'd stop for a month and reward myself for being so good by having a smoke...... It's now over a decade since I stubbed my last one out, not a single puff since.

- Recognise that you are in control. Even though its hard there are so many people, just like you, who have achieved it; they are proof that this is very doable. Smoking is a choice, if you put a cigarette in your mouth, light it and inhale there are 3 actions you have chosen to take. Nobody holds you down and makes you smoke, your role in quitting is to not do something.

- You need to convince yourself that you are a non smoker. We've all met people who have told the same tall tale so many times that they now start to believe it themselves, well in a similar way you need to keep telling yourself that you are a non smoker until you believe it. There is a difference between a non smoker and someone who is simply on a break from smoking.  I used to look myself in the mirror each morning and tell myself that I'm no longer a smoker and I won't be smoking today, tomorrow or ever again. 

- Changing the way you think of smoking is the key, if you see yourself as depriving yourself of one of life's great pleasures it will be so much harder than seeing yourself as stopping poisoning yourself in a way which costs a fortune, makes you a social outcast and that you are taking back control of your life doing something positive for your health and not sending thousands of pounds, quite literally, up in smoke.

- Cravings don't kill you but smoking can! Cravings pass, there are any methods to cope whether it be distraction or substitution. In the early stages I ate chilli peanuts or sucked refreshers to distract me and started doing more exercise to take my mind off wanting a smoke. While there is a chemical component to the addiction its shorter lived than the compulsion/conditioned response side of things. We spent most of our adult lives associating smoking with dealing with or experiencing pleasure, stress, reward, sorrow, boredom, hunger, tiredness and so on. It becomes alien to encounter normal life situations without a cigarette in your hand. As such you have to practise these situations without smoking, eventually they will feel natural without smoking but initially its something you'll put down as a craving when really its a conditioned response. Personally I think we mourn the loss of our emotional crutch a little as well so be prepared for that.

Never dwell on past failures. We all had these until we got to the quit that stuck. Good luck, you can make this quit the one that lasts.
« Last Edit: October 10, 2018, 11:34:05 am by Phil Coulson »
 
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jacq

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Re: Help
« Reply #14 on: October 10, 2018, 12:20:03 pm »
Gosh @Phil Coulson what an amazing response so kind of you to share this. The first part really resonates that it’s a choice and that so many others have been able to - so surely I can too. I’m day one with a vape. Thank you again. I’ve taken a picture of your reply to read and re-read thank you thank you
 
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