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Author Topic: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...  (Read 1644 times)

Glasgowgal

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #15 on: January 30, 2018, 09:05:52 pm »
I certainly think i could have a fag and id be ok. But its a stupid false sense of security! And luckily its not something i dwell on.

I think maybe quitting social smoking is a bit different to quitting full time smoking. My resolute is absolute. Im never smoking again. Full stop.

I quit in a week where three people i know got diagnosed with cancer. The one with lung cancer has subsequently died. Why are you wanting to quit? You are just a bit older than me, quit now and you wont be someone here like a lot saying youve smoked for 30 years. Quit now andy. You can do it, but its down to you and you only.
Quit Date 6/11/17
 
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tea

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #16 on: January 30, 2018, 09:07:21 pm »
Actually @Andy1983 I did have a wonder about it; I think I even did a post once about "just one". But I think that just one would put me back to where I don't want to be. As if I've played snakes and ladders and landed on the snake on 99 that takes you right back to square one.  009
12.9.2014  (I forget sometimes)
 
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LAST CHANCE SALOON

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #17 on: January 30, 2018, 09:45:50 pm »
Well your a tough nut to crack @Andy1983 , it would be easier if you smoked 60 a day. Having tobacco in the house would have finished me, so i see your problem. They do say your heads got to be in the right place, but i had no intention of packing up, it was just by chance i took the wife for a blood test and was looking at the stop smoking leaflets while i waited for her and picked up a card. Id been having  problems walking for 6 months and thought it was probably the fags causing it. Next morning i picked up the phone and called the number, i hung up twice and had a fag while i had a think about it , but said LEG and phoned the number. Ive never looked back. There's no substitute for fags, they are unique, but NRT and the lovely folk on this  forum are helping  me get over them, , and oh yes , will power still plays a part. Im struggling to think of any of my friends that still smoke . Hope you find your solution, but your in the right place if you really want it.
Quit 16th November 2017.
Last smoke 21st November 2017.
Trigger word...LEG.
 
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Gerti1

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #18 on: January 31, 2018, 07:57:35 am »
@Andy1983
Maybe reading the allen carr book would help you. You need to work on your thinking when you start debating whether 1 would be ok or whether you feel healthy so 1 would be fine, you need to notice these thoughts and become aware of them for what they are, they are in fact nicotine crap talk and for me its best to have a mantra like, Not one puff ever, Never take another puff ect...
The minute we start thinking about quitting the anxiety starts to twist our thinking even if we are still smoking. This all gets better with each passing day and eventually fades away kk
I am going to do this
Quit 6th January 2018
 
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Skiddaw

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #19 on: January 31, 2018, 12:30:03 pm »
Hi @Andy1983, for me, it really was as though a switch in my brain finally flicked to the 'off' position. Prior to that, with all my previous (very short-lived) quits, I'd always felt I was hard done by and that I was being 'forced' into stopping doing something I enjoyed. It really is a mind game. My final quit came about because for some time- at least a year- I'd been increasingly feeling I wasn't doing something I enjoyed- I was doing something I couldn't stop doing because I was addicted. That, combined with the approach of my 50th year, more and more difficulty in climbing my beloved mountains without being hopelessly out of breath and a good friend/boss (and former smoker) with COPD was what finally did it in my case.

I think that's what's beginning to happen in your case too, or you wouldn't be posting (or exploring your behaviour). If you can just reach the point where you can both tell yourself and believe that smoking isn't something you want to do or enjoy doing you'll be at least 3/4 of the way there.   :hug:
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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Andy1983

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #20 on: February 01, 2018, 02:09:36 pm »
I'm definitely at the point where I'm enjoying it less - in truth, I do enjoy the first one or two when I have them but after that I immediately feel worse and wish I hadn't bothered.  I'll then have a couple more and that'll normally be it for another week or two.  So in reality, there's absolutely no point - I just wish I could remind myself of that strongly enough when I decide to partake. 

There are only two triggers for me really - social situations where other people are smoking and stress/anxiety.  I know I can sometimes get past the latter but the former is so, so hard.  The fact we always have tobacco in the house @LAST CHANCE SALOON really is a problem - when we have friends round and most people are smoking I just can't seem to stand my ground.  I think part of it is that we do allow smoking in one room (and my partner isn't up for making it an outside only thing no matter how hard I try), so I basically end up sat on my own while people go to smoke.  Sure, it's not all the time, but having that happen even every few weeks is really tough.  I have been thinking though, maybe it's my opportunity to put what I want to watch on the TV... then when people come back I'm in my rights to say, "ah I want to leave this on now!" rather than what they want.  I need to be a bit selfish about it perhaps!

@Skiddaw I think the switch of mine might be a 'dimmer' switch which is almost at the off position!  It's just I've been turning it so damned slowly.  For the first time recently I did put a cigarette out half-way through because I wasn't enjoying it and had no more, rather than 'allowing' myself to enjoy five or so, which is a definite change in my thinking.

One other question actually, since I cut down by so much I have put on 3 stone in weight.  I used to be overweight before I started smoking at 19, and I know I supplement cigarettes with food even now.  Does anyone have any tips for that?
 

Nicky40

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #21 on: February 01, 2018, 02:39:03 pm »
Hi @Andy1983

It is a good thing that you are enjoying it less as that will help.  I realised just before I stopped that I only actually enjoyed one cigarette a day (the after I got home from work one) plus I thought the socialising and drinking ones were enjoyable but I expect that was the drink that made me think that.  I too used to smoke in one room eventually before stopping indoors all together, which helped loads - I mean no one wants to stand outside in the cold and rain do they?

Are any of your friends non smokers? or ex smokers?  Thing is less and less people smoking now means that often I felt uncomfortable smoking around others as it has now become unsociable - another good thing.

Weight gain is normal, lots of people eat instead of smoking (also metabolism is slower in non smokers apparently), how about sugar free gum or boiled sweets instead of high calorie stuff?  Also even if you aren't keen on exercise it does release 'happy' hormones so even just going for a regular walk will help you.

Good luck, I hope you manage to stop, and your partner may quit when the time is right.  :hug:
Smoked for most of my adult life (and a fair bit of my childhood!).  Managed a two year quit 2014-2016 but started again!  Quit again on 6th January 2018 and lasted 7 months!  Back on the wagon again now...........
 
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Andy1983

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #22 on: February 01, 2018, 03:58:30 pm »
Thanks @Nicky40, yes it's strange how it's very few of the cigarettes we actually enjoy!  I've been smoking occasionally for four years now but even up to a year ago I would have sworn I enjoyed each and every one when I did and also would have argued that I wasn't addicted.  I now recognise that neither of those statements are true.

Some of my friends are non-smokers, yes - but my closest are either full-time or social smokers like me.  I know with my social smoker friends we're a terrible influence on each other.  One change in that area though is that I rarely drink these days, so I feel more confident than I used to being the one who declines or doesn't encourage buying a cheeky pack of cigarettes to share.  My rebellious side sometimes plays havoc though, I honestly think I rebel against myself!

I'll get some gum, I never chew it actually so that's a good tip.  In fact I'm going to go and buy some right away :)  Although I don't do intensive exercise like a gym I do have a 1.5 mile walk each way to my metro station so I get 3 miles/1 hour of brisk walking in every day, which is good and I can do it about 5 mins faster when I'm not smoking too!
 
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Andy1983

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #23 on: February 03, 2018, 04:49:17 pm »
I just wanted to post and say I did my stupid trick last night and had three cigarettes... wished I hadn't almost straight after.

Anyway, I think I've reached the conclusion that I can't go cold turkey.  Obviously it's not often I smoke but when the craving hits I need some help.  So today, I've bought some lozenges, and my plan is when I feel like I want a cigarette in a social situation at the weekend, I can have one and see if it helps me abstain.

Thanks to everyone for the ongoing support, it really is great to have somewhere to come and talk about this.
 

Glasgowgal

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #24 on: February 03, 2018, 05:56:53 pm »
Hi Andy,

Seems like de ja vu you smoke then feel crappy afterwards...you smoke...then feel crappy. That sounds a bad wee cycle you are in, i dont envy you. Did you have friends over or was it just your partner smoking?

You jus goto stay out the smoking room! Could you say to your partner and friends something along the lines of im trying to quit, when i do smoke i feel terrible, so if i go to smoke can you please give me a slap or something ie dont let me smoke! Id share with them too the bit about feeling left out when they are smoking as im sure theyd be happy not to all go smoking at one time so you always have company and dont feel left out?

Dont be too hard on yourself, its not the end of the world. But goto learn from the times you fail. If at first you dont suceed, try again! Keep on keeping on. You are capable of quitting andy.
Quit Date 6/11/17
 
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Gerti1

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #25 on: February 03, 2018, 06:17:25 pm »
Good luck on trying the lozenges, from what I have gleened over the years they appear to work very well :)
I am going to do this
Quit 6th January 2018
 
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Andy1983

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #26 on: February 04, 2018, 08:46:18 am »
@Glasgowgal yeah, I just need to keep in mind how crappy I feel after and how it's not worth it really. 

To be honest it's me more than anything who pushes to smoke - even if my other half really puts his foot down and refuses to give me the tobacco my rebellious side just won't listen!  I'm basically rebelling against myself so I think the willpower has to come from me.  Maybe having a lozenge will help me rebel against my rebellious smoking self...! Goodness knows how my mind works that I'm thinking this way but I guess that's what an addiction can do!

Thanks for the encouraging words and support :)
 

Weebeastie

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #27 on: February 04, 2018, 10:41:52 am »
@Andy1983

Hello and welcome to this very helpful forum full of really lovely humans!  I am only on day 13 of my 16 millionth attempt at quitting so not that far ahead of you on this journey.  I can totally relate to your question about finding relief after a few weeks and the desire/urge/craving to smoke going away.  The truth is, as long as you feel it's doing something for you then I suspect that we'll always feel like we're missing out.  I've always viewed it as a friend, something that was always there, a massive socialiser (especially now that we have to go outside to smoke - how many non-smokers do we see in the smoking areas in pubs because that's where everyone seems to be hanging out, where all the great chats and laughs occur).  On every previous attempt to quit (and even on this one until around day 5) I felt very sorry for myself....sulking like a child as one side of my brain tried everything to persuade me into smoking and the other side rolled its eyes because i always fail at stuff, can't stick to anything.....a culmination of all the people in my life who've always criticised me.  I watched other people smoking and felt jealous that it was ok for them, surely it was ok for me too.....they look happy after all, why can't i be happy too?! 
The only thing that has snapped my brain out of this is when i read Allen Carr's book about Easyway.  A way of looking at smoking that makes me realise that stopping smoking is bloody brilliant.  You may well have read it and, if so, I'd read it again.  I'm also reading Annie Grace's book called This Naked Mind which is about controlling alcohol but has instantly made my smoking quit journey almost, dare i say it, easy. This has been my first weekend, probably ever, where i haven't drunk or smoked (or felt really miserable because i was trying to quit both...like the weekend before). I feel well rested, clear headed and full of energy.  I have never felt more naturally calm in my life.  I've changed my diet too to a high fat, low carb one (but that's a different conversation!) and also only eat between 10am and 6pm......this has really helped me because after 6pm all bets are off, only water or caffeine free tea so no point in thinking about anything else.  I go to be early and fall asleep straight away, the conflict and anxiety have gone.  By smoking (or drinking) you trade one night of 'pleasure' for several days of anxiety and that's not a trade i'm willing to do any more. for once in my life I'm going to see something through, own my life and bloody well succeed for nobody buy myself. 
It is the hardest journey I've ever been on.  I miss the days of blissful ignorance where i smoked without worrying.  But those days will catch up with me eventually.  Now it's time for something different.  Shout for help any time, those cravings come hard and fast from the sidelines and are hard to get rid of.  Stay strong.  You've got this :)
 
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Skiddaw

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #28 on: February 04, 2018, 01:00:39 pm »
Some very sound advice from the gang, @Andy1983 . :hug: :hug:

I agree that lozenges may well help. I found them invaluable for those 'sticky' moments. Also, obvious though it sounds, do keep repeating the mantra- NOPE (Not One Puff Ever). It really does work if you say it often enough.
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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Andy1983

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Re: Hi everyone, it's been four years since I started trying to quit...
« Reply #29 on: February 11, 2018, 02:00:32 pm »
@Weebeastie Well done to you on getting this far too and thanks for the words of encouragement and support.  I particularly like your point about trading one night of pleasure for several days of anxiety - that's incredibly true in my case too and I'm going to think about that whenever the desire hits.  Recently, for the first time, I've been feeling like I really do hate smoking - don't get me wrong, I know my view will change when the next big craving or social event comes, but I feel stronger this time than I have done previously.

Avoiding alcohol is so helpful in lots of different ways - I've not had a drink in over a week and I feel great.  Sadly it is often a social norm but I'm starting to consider giving it up completely.  Yesterday I went to a pub with a friend who had a beer and I had a tap water... I spent nothing and still had a great time :)
 
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