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Author Topic: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!  (Read 333 times)

Wee me :)

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Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« on: August 25, 2017, 12:16:00 pm »
I am writing this firstly in the hope it might help to give somebody else out there a wee bit of extra strength that might be or is going through something similar as it ups it's game when u are at your most vulnerable and secondly when it happens to me again (as I'm sure it will) I can read this back and know I am stronger today as I have beaten my worst and I believe nothing else the demon nic has to throw at me will be as strong because the stronger I get the weaker it gets.

So I was out clothes shopping with my teenage daughter. 3 hours of yeah, maybe, mmmm, not sure, I'll try that again (for the 100th time) and maybees ayes maybees naws, only to walk out yet another shop with nothing. At that point all I kept thinking was time for a coffee and a puff I NEED it (puff that is coffee was an optional extra). The thoughts were quite strong but instead I chain sooked my fisherman's friends. I had got past it or so I thought until we got to the supermarket, picking up the rest of my clan on route. Looking for some idea's I ask "what shall I do for dinner tonight" no reply, I ask again, again and again still nothing from anybody. All got their faces in their blinking phones (including hubby). I'm invisible!! (nothing new there) I can feel my anger building at same time my stress levels already raised now going through the roof and that wee demon voice I had put to the back of the bus was not so wee now and was right up the front SCREAMING in my face "you need a puff it's the only way you're going to calm down, you know it is" . I say one last time in a very shaky voice ideas for dinner the answer I got back was.. dunno... That was it, I lost it. Dropped the basket told them to sort it themselves and ran. I agreed with the voice I really did need that puff I would commit murder otherwise. I was running straight for the cigarette kiosk I had my eyes fixed on it, hand on purse I got there but didn't stop, instead I ran straight past and into the toilets and locked myself in and sat there shaking, crying and wondering what the hell had just happened to me.  After a wee bit I realised the demon voice was at the back of bus again. I still don't know  what got me behind that locked door and stopped me buying puffs but I'm so grateful I didn't.

Today I feel okay again but it has taught me not to let my guard down and to take this minute by minute, hour by hour as last few days I had been feeling really strong, totally beating this thing then, WALLOP my demon hit me like a ton of bricks.

 I also notice that the urge/need to have a puff was over pretty quickly. I know this as to my surprise there wasn't a queue when I came out the toilet and it only has 3 cubicles !!  006  Most importantly I would have been totally gutted and disgusted with myself had I followed that voice and caved in..

I'm now 24 days  smoke free and I'll just keep plodding on one day at a time 006


 
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Max414

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2017, 12:36:53 pm »
This post is completely BRILLIANT!!!!
Admin,make this a sticky!  008
Wee Me,you have demonstrated that YOU are stronger than the curse-you also discovered that this made crave is over pretty quickly. You are starting to see that ,to paraphrase the Emperor's clothes,Nic Demon has no clothes  004

WE are SO PROUD of you Mrs!!!!!! x
30 years of rollups,20 a day

9.53 pm Dec 28th 2012 >>>>>>>........last cancer stick..

With help from Champix and the late Mr Allen Carr,
The Nicdemon met his Waterloo at Xmas 2012 :-)
 
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Skiddaw

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2017, 12:44:07 pm »
Exactly what @Max414 said, you clever, clever, brave and wonderful @Wee me :) !!  :foundbeer: :foundbeer: :foundbeer: :hug: :hug: :hug:

(What did you do for dinner in the end? I have to know...  ;))
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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Lostie

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2017, 01:56:08 pm »
I am so proud of you and you are so STRONG  007 007 007  You won that battle didn't you and you are stronger for it. Congratulations :hug:
 
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tea

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2017, 02:46:34 pm »
I do love this post so much!! I would give it not just sticky status but post of the month. Crumbs, I felt that!!

Mind you if I don't get an answer on dinner I just choose for myself and tell them that they lost their vote after polling closed.

Blooming well done on pulling yourself back up and making that swift detour to the ladies' room.

I raise my glass to you  008
12.9.2014  (I forget sometimes)
 
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Wee me :)

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2017, 04:31:41 pm »
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much, everyone.  006 Still can't believe I managed to overcome it. The feeling was SOooooo strong and I really did believe I needed that puff, more to the point I had decided I would have that puff. My demon had won and I didnt care but for me to make it to the ladies then my voice must have been stronger even though I was in such a panic I couldn't hear it.

When I was locked in loo I was thinking gawd how am I going to get out of here as store exit is past kiosk, then I realised my mega crave attack was over just like that. No more than the few mins it took me to get there, lock door and put toilet lid down. Even though I was still stressed my crave was gone. 006

As for dinner... Once I came out of toilet I went outside for some fresh air and sat and watched the world go by. In the mean time hubby took his own panic attack at thought of having to cook dinner for hungry brood so he got them all create your own pizzas. I bet they didn't say dunno when asked what toppings they would like..!!  haha   006


 
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Skiddaw

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2017, 05:19:42 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Nice one @Wee me :):)
Finally saw sense on 8/12/13

So many mountains, so little time...
 
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Nicky40

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2017, 08:26:27 am »
Wow, well done @Wee me :)

Fantastic post showing just how bloody strong those cravings can be, and how short - apparently no more than 3 minutes.  I will think about your post when I next have a crave.  007
Smoked for 27 years, quit for 26 months, smoked again for 16 months now trying to stop for good!
 
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Wee me :)

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2017, 01:53:03 pm »
Thanks @Nicky40, I have caved in for much less in the past and aye, they say attacks lasts for only 3 mins. I've never timed them but flippin eck, the mega ones feel like they last for absolute ages  009. Amazing how easily your mind can trick you, if you let it. :foundbeer: 006


 
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Glasgowgal

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Re: Day 23 has given me my worst demon nic attack yet...!!
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2017, 07:36:14 pm »
This is the brilliant post i was talking about  006
Quit Date 6/11/17